Role of Our Spouses

The following article was a talk given to the Deacons and their spouses on the occassion of a weekend retreat. It is reproduced here in full.

Introduction

As the faithful people of God, the Body of Christ here on Earth, we all come from different backgrounds. We are born into cultures with their inherent traditions. We do not choose the cultures and traditions we are born into, but as members of the family of God, we have made a choice about the direction our lives will take. We have chosen to look beyond our inherited condition towards a better way of life, a more fulfilling and rewarding way of life. We have chosen to embrace the Good News of Jesus Christ and in so doing we cannot remain the same. We have chosen to become Christ’s followers, we are Christians.

New culture, new tradition

As Baptized members of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, we are introduced to a new way of life. We could say a new culture with its own rich and wonderful tradition spanning 2000 years. Our Christian culture can be defined by the words of the Prophet Isaiah which were spoken by Jesus to define his mission Lk.4: 18-19: “..He has sent me to bring the Good News to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives and to the blind new sight, to set the down trodden free…”

Christ at once offers us and also challenges us to accept his offer of true freedom in all its forms: Spiritual, Psychological, Emotional & Physical. His freedom extends, through Christian values and morals into the religious, political, economic and social areas of human life.

The light of the Gospel shines into our own cultures and traditions and makes visible all those things that enslave us in mind, body and soul. The light of the Gospel shines into our religious, social, political and economic environment and in so doing the light of the Gospel reveals that which is contrary to the plan of God: Salvation and eternal life for all his children.

Through our Baptism we, male and female, have become the children of God and heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven, equally important in the sight of God and His Church.

Equal share in the life of the Church

This brings me directly to the theme of this talk: The Role of the Deacon's Spouse. Not only have we chosen to become disciples of Christ and been Baptized into him, we have also chosen to answer his call to serve him as ministers of his sacred body. Was this choice made unilaterally or in consultation with our spouses? Is this my ministry or our ministry? While the Church has conferred the sacrament of Holy Orders on us, by the very fact of God’s grace inherent in all sacraments, our spouses, through the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, have themselves received God’s grace through our Holy Orders.

Unlike the other clerical offices of the Church i.e. the Episcopate and the Presbyterate where celibacy is a prerequisite, the Diaconate is unique by virtue of the married state. This implies that a Deacon does not act alone in his ministry. Just as a marriage is a shared sacrament so the Deacon shares his ministry with his spouse through both moral support and active support. Without the support of the spouse the Deacon will struggle in his ministry. Our ministry is not a one-man-band. In recognizing this unique aspect of the Diaconate we must also recognize that our spouses are of equal standing and therefore have every right to partake in our ministry. This goes hand-in-hand with our Christian identity, culture, tradition, values and morals as mentioned earlier.

Having said this, our spouses may find, through the grace of God in their lives, a calling to minister in other areas other than sharing in their husband’s ministry. This is a very common occurrence where the Diaconate is very strong and well established especially in the USA. Many Diaconate spouses have identified their own calling and their specialized ministries. While these may not be the same as their husbands, they do compliment each other. The ultimate outcome is a strengthening of the body of Christ at the very roots, the basic Church, the family. 

Challenge

Given the sharing so far, it is clear that both the Deacon and his spouse have a duty and responsibility to promote the faith beginning in their home and spreading in the Christian community and into the World. 

Whether our spouses share in our ministry or develop their own, they should be encouraged to promote and witness to their faith according to the Charism of the Holy Spirit given to each member of the Body. This encouragement must come first and foremost from the Deacon, followed by the Parish Priest and the Bishop. In our inclusive Christian culture there is no room for our spouses to feel sidelined and isolated nor should we, as Deacons be seen to be treating our spouses as second class or subordinate Christians. Both husband and wife, have to be an example to society of how a Christian marriage stands apart from marriages of other kinds, especially in the aspect of equality.

Thank you.